just share a joke
Good morning, Ladies & Gentlemen.
This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways.
We apologize for the four day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather
and some overtime I had put in at the bakery.
This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but
we will end up somewhere in the East.
And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety
standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with
It is with pleasure I annouce that starting this year over 50% of our
passengers have reached their destination.
For the ones that don't quite make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the
requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin.
Our Stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can
arrange to turn them off.
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve
complimentary tea and biscuits.
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you
find out if there really is a God.
We regret to inform you that today's inflight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television.
But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India, where
their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
This is a non smoking airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only
the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down.
Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes
are made available to the aunties and swimming shorts to the uncles, for
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as
possible for the best view.
If however we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic
co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark.
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and
fasten your belt.
For those who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the
arm of your seat.
And for those who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my
But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cockpit. Thank
you for choosing Punjab Airways.
Last for not least, have a nice journey